Michele Cutts

Plow Creek Mennonite Church

Michele Cutts
May 2, 1947 - March 16, 2003

Michele wrote a number of beautiful songs.
You may read the lyrics.

Obituary for Michele Dawn Cutts

CHICAGO, Illinois -- Michele Cutts, age, 55, formerly of Tiskilwa, died March 16, 7:00 p.m. at the Carlton on the Lake Nursing Home in Chicago

She was born May 2, 1947 in St. Paul, Minnesota, to Quentin and Dorothy Stiff.

Prior to moving to Tiskilwa in 1998 to become a member of Plow Creek Fellowship, Michele worked at Cornerstone Community Outreach in Chicago. Previously she worked at a battered women’s shelter in Florida and also managed a McDonald’s Restaurant in Florida for several years. She was a member of Plow Creek Mennonite Church and Plow Creek Fellowship of Tiskilwa.

Survivors include one daughter, Robin Mandell of Athens, Georgia; two brothers, Russell Stiff, Bloomington, Minnesota, and David Stiff, Minneapolis, Minnesota; two sisters, Kaye Stiff, Golden, Colorado, and Judy Sanchez, Glen Elyn, Illinois; two grandsons, Simon Mandell and Sabastian Mandell; and one granddaughter, Sierra Mandell.

She was preceded in death by her parents.

Funeral services were held Saturday, March 22, 2003, 2:00 p.m. at Plow Creek Mennonite Church, Tiskilwa, with pastoral elder Rich Foss, officiating. Burial was at the Plow Creek Cemetery, Tiskilwa.

On April 7, 1997 Michele wrote a page-long description of her mission statement. Here are few excerpts:

What is my Mission Statement? I would say my Mission Statement is to struggle.

... my main mission is to work at seeking the Lord above all else and keeping my main focus on Him... allowing Him to be the author and finisher...

There are times when I am so in love with Jesus that I can't figure out how I or anyone else could ever struggle keeping Jesus first.

It’s a real struggle to be willing to let the Lord, (or others in the Lord,) reveal inconsistencies and other emotional, spiritual, or mental defects and off balances in my life.

My main mission is to struggle past myself with Jesus’ help...

/There are] times when I am not struggling, but bathing and relaxing in the Lord’s Light and Love...

Loving and Dying

A Visit with Michele Cutts

Joanne Janzen

Reba Place Fellowship

We were twenty minutes early, but surprise! There she was, already waiting for us in the lobby. Michele's warm welcome and hugs underlined the friendship weave shared in these past years when Michele was living at Plow Creek Fellowship. Hilda Carper and I had taken the EL from Reba Place and headed for the Friendly Towers of Jesus People USA . For a month we had looked forward to our March 6 visit with Michele Cutts.

As we took the elevator and hallways up to Michele's ninth-floor room, the people we passed greeted us warmly, introduced themselves and sometimes stopped to talk. We could sample the JPUSA community that was Michele's home for many years and is now again. At the first of December, after three years at Plow Creek, she moved back to JPUSA to be close to longtime friends and especially to her daughter Robins family, who live in the Friendly Towers. Last spring Michele was diagnosed with advanced colon cancer and at that time her doctors said shed probably have about a year to live.

Michele took the lead to tell us how she's feeling: needing to sleep more, some weakness and dizziness and “feeling too full” at the start of the day. The cancer often gives her fevers. She had a couple of recent bouts with severe pain until she learned she could take more pain pills. But Michele said much more about the peace the Lord has given as she approaches the end of her earthly life.

She spoke freely about arrangements she's making now “. . .when I'm winding down. I've canceled all my magazine subscriptions so no one else will have to deal with that. Two days ago I officially signed up for Horizon Hospice. I have morphine and a pain patch available if I need them. There are now three people who have medical power of attorney for me.” In her small room, with a large north window, Michele delighted in showing us a beautiful folding rocking chair her father built and caned himself, an heirloom which will go to her daughter Robin.

Hilda asked, “Do you ever think about what it will be like when you are at the Rivers edge, or what Heaven will be like?”

Michele answered, “I don't think much about what it will be like. I know we will be more fully with Him than even in our closest moments here on earth. But what I think it will be won't change what it is. It is what it is.”

Michele's grounding in reality and thanksgiving met us at every turn in the conversation. “I love my window! I can see a bit of everything from my window -- the high school just so close, all the different buildings and homes, those distant trees that mark the Lakefront, the sky, and some days, I can see the Lake. I especially love the colors of the sunset and sunrise glow.”

Michelle continued pouring out her gratitude for:

—the freedom to be around the children, the young people and other JPUSA folks as much as she'd like, to eat either in the Senior Center or the JPUSA dining room.

—remaining a member of Plow Creek. “Margaret and Rich are coming to visit me tomorrow.

—her Hospice nurse who reassures her that, while she may have more hours of pain in the future than she's yet experienced, the pain will not be more intense.

—“my daughter and her husband and grandchildren Simon, Sabastian, and Sierra living so close, and for all the times they can come see me.

—the gift of an old small refrigerator when she moved into her room, and then, when that fridge “conked out” two weeks later, for a $200 inheritance from her mother, which was enough to buy another fridge.

—JPUSA's money gift for a holiday outing with her daughter and husband and their three children to an indoor water park.

—the gift from many friends of a week's Caribbean cruise last summer for Michele and daughter Robin, including a support person. By the payment deadline, they were still $700 short, but the woman who'd assisted Robin in planning the project offered the last $700 out of her own bank account. Michele and Robin prayed that

additional contributions would still come in to cover the woman's gift. It did! With $300 extra for spending money. This trip was most meaningful as Robin had wanted years ago to celebrate her High School graduation with a cruise, but there had not been enough money for it at the time.

—little granddaughter Sierra's understanding of death, as expressed at Michele's mother's funeral last year. “When you die, the body turns back to dust, but the spirit just says ‘Yippee* and goes right on.”

—the gift “that all the denial and anger I had to work through when my friend was diagnosed with terminal cancer did not seem to be as present when I heard my own diagnosis. I was shocked; I'd had no idea anything serious was wrong with my body. But I was soon at peace with it. And my peace helped Robin and others close to me come to peace more quickly. Even Monday, when my liver was giving me severe pain and I was in tears, I still felt deep-down the real peace and joy of the Lord.”

“I am understanding living more profoundly than I ever did before I knew I was dying.”

—a precious memory of the Lord preparing Michele for this present part of her journey. “Back when I lived at Plow Creek, before anyone suspected my cancer, I was praying about wanting to contribute more financially to Plow Creek. I heard the Lord tell me in a quiet gentle way, ‘Michele, I'm beginning to call you Home now, so you don't need to be concerned about that anymore. * It was so peaceful and reassuring. But by the next morning and for weeks after, I forgot all about those words. Later after I'd been diagnosed with cancer, had undergone surgery and had come to peace with my cancer being terminal, I felt the Lord reminding me softly, ‘Remember? I told you I'm beginning to call you Home now.* I felt so much of the Lord's loving care and assurance in preparing me.

—Rich Foss's word from the Lord that he shouldn't pray for Michele's healing; that this was not God's will, but that he should pray for Michele's heart to be filled with a lot of love. “And,” Michele continued, “that's just what has happened. I feel my heart already overwhelmed with love from and for the Lord. And it is full of love from and for other people, too.”

—“the experience of my friend, who was dying of cancer last year, finally coming to peace and a good attitude about it. She could finally say, ‘I know if it is not the Lord's will to heal me, then He'll take me in his arms to Himself.* After that, much emotional and spiritual healing came to my friend. When I saw this, I prayed, ‘Lord, if I'm ever seriously ill, let it be like this for me. * And, you know, I too have received more emotional and spiritual healing than I ever could have if I weren't facing serious cancer. I am understanding Living more profoundly than I ever did before I knew I was dying.”

Our hour and a half in Michele's room had passed too quickly. Michele had spent the whole time sitting up straight on the edge of her bed. She wanted to be sure Hilda and I were comfortable in her two chairs. She had shared with such animation and joy. I couldn't imagine her someday not alive, not with us. When I tried, my heart cramped a little. We shared several rounds of tender good-byes with Michele, and she accompanied us to the lobby to make sure we could find our way out.

As our train rolled back to Evanston, I recalled asking Michele how she wanted us to pray for her now. She invited us to remember those persons who go through anguish and turmoil because of her departing. “It's not an effort for mc to be ‘up,* I just am. But I can't keep others up.

And I know Michele can't keep me up either. And yet, as we are linked in the Spirit and in prayer, her dying does lift up my amazement at this mysterious and wonderful way of living, so grounded in reality and thanksgiving.