February 24, 2008

Every person, family, and group works hard to build the best identity that they can. But no matter how hard we try to do this task well, we end up with identities that have flaws in them. A child with overly busy, impatient parents may include the idea that he or she is a bother. An over indulged child may grow up believing they totally deserve to be treated as royalty, or at least given every thing that he or she desires. There are countless variations, none of which tell us the complete truth about ourselves, or our group.

Events come along in life that make us question who we are, things that don't fit with the person, family, or community we know ourselves to be. Our immediate human tendency is to work to repair our old identity. Like a road crew patching up pot holes, we work to repair our identities as we have known them. And like most pot hole repairs, the "improvement" doesn't last, because it is not based on God's truth of who we are. Somehow our human reasoning or impulse is that it is easier to maintain our messed up identity than it is to let the Lord help us form a new one.

And that is exactly what God wants to do. He wants us to grow into a more mature, more truth based identity for our own sakes and the sake of His Kingdom. When this happens, it is an experience of transformation rather than repair. And with the Lord leading, it will bring us into new freedoms, new maturity than we've had in the past. In the course of a life time we are designed to pass through a number of these transformations. At some point we no longer see ourselves as a child, but as an adult, or again as a parent with children to raise, till finally, if all goes well, we truly become elders with a life time of wisdom and experience to give to our communities.

Now you may remember that some of these transitions that you've gone through already were not all that easy. Nor do they promise to become easier. Who of us welcomes the prospect of returning dependency that comes with failing health?

The good news is that this business of identity transformation, whether it comes as a part of a predictable life stage or though experiences of healing, has the potential to bring with it redemption. We often think of redemption as a positive, desired thing. The ultimate acts of redemption are of course shown in the birth and death of Jesus. Separated by culture and 2000 years, it is easy to hold a "cleaned up" version of these redemptive acts in our minds. But an unexplained pregnancy was no easy matter for Mary or her family. Neither was the act of becoming refugees, or the deaths of so many children in Bethlehem following the visit of the Magi. And who of us have seen a man crucified, gasping in pain for each breath for several hours? Redemption was costly, disruptive, pain filled. And when the Lord brings redemption to us as individuals, families, and communities, it is still costly, disruptive, and pain filled. Often we don"t recognize it as the Hand of God for those very reasons. We equate pain with "something is terribly wrong", or "If I"m hurting, God must be on vacation." Yes, redemption does tell us that something is wrong, and that the Lord is at work to bring transformation and growth.

We have the privilege of free choice; we can choose to simply patch up our old identities. Or we can at times choose to remember that our present pain is indeed that hand of God, loving us in ways that are far greater than we could have imagined. Years ago, when I was sick with lupus, a friend gave me the book, Prison to Praise. I was really mad at the thought that somehow God was in the middle of my having a miserable, incurable illness. And that I should be giving thanks for it?  I've learned a lot more by now about this business of following Christ. I want to challenge myself and each one of you to find the times in the midst of redemptive pain, to remember that it is exactly that, the pain of God's work within and among us. And to give thanks for all the misery that seems to be in no hurry to end.

Redemption, which is always the Lord's work, will bring us to new places of freedom, to joy, to a deeper love of our Lord. May His name be praised.

meditations